The Murphy Work Laws

Remember...
1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters away from a kick in the pants.
2. If you are too good at work, you cannot be replaced and hence cannot be promoted.
3. The longer your title, the less important the job.
4. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
5. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
6. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
7. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
8. If you want to be visible for your next review, talk loudly - never mind if you sound stupid.
9. And if you really want to nail the rank '1' or promotion, slang till your tongue gets knotted.