Did You Commit This Most Appropriate Gruesome Crime? - A weekly series

"Death By the Toilet Flash, Accident or Murder?"

The hot tropical sun was beating mercilessly upon the bald patch of S.M. Lake's head. Dredged in his own perspiration and feeling sticky under his armpits, Lake quickly dashed across the road to the nearest coffee shop and gratefully plopped himself under a fan. Relieved at last and away from the scorching noon sun.

The coffee shop lady hobbled towards Lake, ‘Drink what?’

Lake looked up, ‘Coke.’ The lady strolled lazily back to the counter and shouted his order.

At first, Lake didn’t noticed it but soon he realized that the coffee shop was quite empty. Normally, the place would be crowded with the lunch crowd but today, there were plenty of empty seats. Lake looked at his watch, it was 12.30pm.

The coffee shop lady returned with the Coke, ‘$1.20’

Lake paid. ‘How come no people today?’

‘You didn’t know?’

‘Know what?’

‘That the company opposite, one of the managers died, so they said everybody has to stay in the canteen, police now investigating.'

'So the whole company cannot leave'?

'Ya, everyone is a suspect because everyone hates the Sa Kar manager, they very happy he die you know. They all happy eating pau, drinking kopi, like celebrating.'

‘Really? When?’

‘This morning about 10 o’clock, they said he died in the toilet.’

‘He collapsed?’

‘I don’t know lah but this morning, a lot of people drinking coffee here say he is a bad manager, deserved to die that way.’

‘What way?’

‘Actually quite scary, they said his head got stucked in the toilet bowl. When they pulled out his head, his mouth was ‘why’ to one side. The mouth screwed to one side because he likes to talk and carry tales about people to his manager.'

‘Aiyo! Stuck in the toilet bowl? What was he putting his head in the toilet bowl for?’

‘How I know, but just now the people say, that manager like to Sa Kar big shot and he was actually trying to examine the toilet bowl because his big manager complained the toilet not so clean.’

‘He can call the cleaners for that, why need to go do it himself?’

‘That’s why lor, the people say, actually the Ang Mo manager just mentioned only but this Sa Kar always like to carry his balls, so he go do it himself. Served him right lah.’

‘But how did his head gone stuck?’

‘You think company got only 1 Sa Kar meh. The people all say there must be another Sa Kar who also heard what the Ang Mo manager say. So must have told the cleaning department to do automatic flush. This Sa Kar suay lah, put his head inside the bowl, the toilet automatically flashed, his head kena sucked in so die lah!’

The coffee shop lady grinned, ‘Aiyo, I cannot chit chat now, my boss calling me.’

Lake downed his Coke and thought of the story. Very interesting death under very unusual circumstances. He finished the last drop of the iced Coke and headed across towards the company, he now has the title for his book, 'The Toilet Flash Murder Mystery.'

Now, who could be the smart Sa Kar that got rid of the dumb Sa Kar?

What's your take? Send in your comments. Clue for the week: Muffins


Reporting from APNN Corporate Crime Division (Tomorrow Sure Die)