The Making of A Great Company – The Insider Story

It started in the boardroom of some rich investors having too much money and not knowing what to shop for…until they heard of a little business in the Far East which they could actually occupied their time with.

The little business was elated that it was chosen and the appointed Leader selected his ‘40’ (no, this is better than the 300). The 40 was super charged hand picked workers who believed that they were going to be the pioneers, the backbone of the company, part of a great challenge – the dawning of an exciting era with big fat bonuses and career advancements.

Very quickly and efficiently, they organized themselves into concentration camps, time zone was non-existent, the 40 worked (at least a good majority of them did) day and night and proved to the industry that nothing is impossible. The company was built in 18 months, self sufficient with its own policies, own processes and own systems. The workers patted themselves in the back.

Independence Day was celebrated not once, not twice but many times. The 40 was constantly reminded that they did it and the Leader gave beautiful speeches expressing his thanks and his commitment to them…but there was still no mention of the rewards.

The 40 waited - still believing, still hoping that their Leader has not forgotten them.

What a gullible lot!!!

Then the announcement of a re-organization raised hopes but this was quickly dashed when it was clear that only the inner circle of the Leader was rewarded and promoted. Disappointment set in. The line between the Leader’s favored ones and the working class was drawn; corporate caste system (CCS) was established.

All animals are equal but
Some animals are more equal and
They sit in cubicles

All animals can perform but
Some animals are born performers and
They can have 1on1 coffee with the Leader

All animals are ranked above average but
Some animals are always ranked ‘1’ and
Only the pigs can decide who is ‘1’

All animals have the freedom to express themselves but
Some animals like the pigs have the last say and
They are the brains behind the Leader

All animals are deemed intelligent but
Some animals are more intelligent and
They can take your ideas and make it theirs

All animals are colour blind but
Some animals are more colour blind and
The pigs love to suck up to the colour ‘White’.

The group of disgruntled workers held a meeting to address their grievances. The knights of the Fair Council finally tabled the motion of Tolerance ie. carry on working as if you are happy but watch out for the pigs. Good will triumph eventually as some of the pigs believe in karma and what goes round must come around.

While all this exciting developments were happening to the little business, the rich bore investors went shopping again and this time, they commissioned an archeology expedition into some deep forsaken corner of a desert in the hope of unearthing some fossils of extinct creatures that will project them as environmentally conscious industrialist.

Their gamble paid off and they struck gold. The team had uncovered a well preserved body of a human specimen in one of their digs. The specimen believed to be a male was squarish and stout in build with flat features indicating a possible descendant of the extinct nomadic tribe of the Globlocks from Inner Mongolia. The specimen was quickly transported to the Lab of Pychoparalysis*, tests were run and the results show that the 3000 years old specimen with a big brain cavity can actually be revived with the help of the DNA induction program.

Within three weeks, the rich investors proudly presented their ‘discovery’ – genetically altered Natkcoh and appointed the altered specimen as their Chief of Staff over the little business in the Far East. With the help of the DNA induction program, Natkcoh’s vocabulary improved by leaps and bounds, his English was eloquent (by standards of the Bad Alley Gang*) and in wanting to keep up with the modern executives, Natkcoh makes sure that he uses every chance to practice his favourite range of vocabulary which is confined from ‘c’ to ‘f’. The rich investors were pleased.

In the Far East, the Leader slept uneasily.

With his new found status, Natkcoh started to introduce his plan of change drastically. His big brain cavity spewed out many unorthodox ideas. His first task was to recruit another specimen but a younger one. Together they will rule the little business. The Leader in the Far East started to loose sleep, his suckling pigs held little pigsty meetings privately. The workers knowing nothing of the brewing storm continue to work for the Leader.

Like hovering clouds that break suddenly, Visitor’s Day was announced; Mr. Second Specimen will be visiting the little business. The Leader and his pigs went into a frizzy of preparation, the workers were told to get all documents ready, don’t say anything, don’t talk to Mr. Second Specimen, if he asked question, direct to your task masters or any of the pigs.

It was evident from the visit that Mr. Second Specimen was cautiously hosted by the Leader and his pigs. The allegiance to the Leader remained strong and his pigs did their best to undermine the credibility of Mr. Second Specimen. Workers were asked to give their opinion after the visit. But before the pigs could get their propaganda machinery started, Natkcoh announced the permanent appointment of Mr. Second Specimen as the New Chief of Operations, effectively cutting the Leader’s pie into half.

The Leader and his pigs were in disarray, some pigs vomited blood, some were fainting at the corridors and spilling their fat intestines onto the floor and some drank themselves silly and was seen tottering ungracefully on their little hoofs. All the pigs were oinking and cursing Mr. Second Specimen.

The workers held another round of council and unanimously agreed, the pigs are skewed for the slaughter! Watch and see, soon there will be a glut in the supply of bacon.

In the ensuing weeks, several pigs silently defected to the ‘other’ side. The Leader’s grip over his pet pork bellies was sliding from him. Even his most trusted swine was showing signs of defection. All the pigs were busy making plans to save their own hinds, the Leader was left only. The workers pitied him but remembering that he was the one who ripped them off their just rewards, they held back from consoling him. Karma is at work, do not meddle.

Behind the scenes, daggers were drawn between the ‘Specimens’ and the Leader. Things came to a hilt and the Leader relinquished his position. The council had predicted it and many pigs saw the end of their tails going up in smoke. But some pigs quickly ditched the Leader and don on a disguise to welcome the victorious New Chief of Operations.

In the middle of fall, the final show of power hit the eastern shore, many pigs were slaughtered. Suckling pigs went on sale that week. The workers heaved a sigh of relief : at last justice prevails or it seem so for a short while. Whether it was an oversight or a strategy of the ‘Specimens’, not all pigs were impaled, defecting 2-faced pigs were left untouched.

The little business in the Far East now has lesser pigs, a new regime has taken over and needless to say the 2-faced pigs are singing and hailing praises of the all victorious New Chief of Operations. Under the new regime, there is no room for objection, try you may but it will be futile (refer to article 'Where is the Light.. on APNN website).

In an unkind twist of fate, the new regime appointed defecting 2-faced pigs as figures of authority; their task is simple; report all rebellion and continue to undermine the workers and take credit for their work.

Ironically, the new regime loves bacon as well. The workers fear the worst has yet to come.

Soon the Knights of the Fair Council will convene again. What will be their decision and course of action? Shall we wager over say a … or half a dozen of bacon sandwiches:)??

Nice story? Nice Fiction? NO!, This is not fiction, this is the story of a real company.
The 2-faced pigs are still in the company and in positions of authority and if you look hard enough at your own company, you can identify these degrading betraying swines too!!

Reporting from APNN Deep Cover Unit, DMZ Korea

Globlocks A disgraced uncouth tribe massacred by Genghis Khan's forefathers in the War of The Great Khans in AD 205, the Globlocks are the descendents of No-I Khan (pronouced as 'No' I Can't)

* A famous foul rapping group that was recently sued for sexual harassment

*A state of progressive derangement of the brain due to excessive hot air trapped in the upper half of the skull. Symptons include arrogant show of power coupled with impaired speech, incontrollable outburst of absurdity and short attention span. There is no known medical cure, the sure cure is to break the skull. Eexperimental trials of filling the cavity with Damn Neuro Agents (DNA) seems to have limited success. For more indepth understanding of the disease, please contact the Lab of Pyschoparalysis headquartered in the USA.