New Year 2008 - Moving Forward, Looking Upward, Thinking Outward..



For some naive airhead wannabes who are hoping to be noticed by upper management this year, it is the time to start on a clean slate. Old scores are pretentiously forgotten and attempts are made to 'get' to know managers better, smile more, be a 'yes' man and score points by giving feedback about your colleaques, because telling on others is 'the' ticket to move ahead and up.

Yet for some more desperate individuals, raising their hands for any kind of projects for visibility is the trend as 'self volunteering' is the right thing to do in the name of supporting the company's direction; even if the idea sucks and lacks depth and foresight.

And for some disillusioned souls still chasing the illusion of a reward, private time with the managers is a must, participating in out-of-office social activity builds rapport and will pave the way to a promotion. Afterall it has been mathematically proven with certainty that hardwork and attitude only help you to reach your potential but talking management rot and ass kissing will get you the job title you want:

Formula: A - Z <=> 1 - 25

Hardwork = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 94%(slog..slog..slog and still not there yet)
Attitude = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% (you just make the mark ie. you are now noticed)
Bullshit = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20+= 103% (ah..you are beginning to smell like one)
Ass Kissing = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 133%! (Congras! you are now an assh**% piece of sh*%)

Another thing to do that will nail you that promotion is if you are a totally outsourced solution to an MNC vendor, treat them nice. It is a partnership not a professional business relationship. Be mindful of how you convey your needs to them. Molly colly them even when they failed to do their job, it is called 'give and take' and they expect you to fully understand the word 'leverage' all the time. SLAs are for the benefit of the vendor not you.

And after you have done all the above to move forward and looking upward but you forget to keep your visiting directors 'entertained', everything will be futile. If you need coaching in this area, just watch how the managers and vendors behave when the directors are in town. But if you value your dignity and have an ounce of self esteem left in you then, thinking outward is perhaps a worthy consideration for 2008.


May the Force Be With You!!

Reporting From the One That Got Away